WhatsApp Us

From My Brain 'For' Yours...

Read about what the experts have to say about mental health.

Self-Love: Turn that frown upside down

Self-love is essential to living well. It affects your life and the decisions you make. What is self-love? Is it something you can buy in a beauty makeover or a new set of clothing? Can you get more of it by reading something inspirational? Or, can a new relationship make you love yourself more? The answer to these questions is no. Although they feel good and are gratifying, you can’t grow in self-love through these types of activities. Since self-love is not simply a state of feeling good. It is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. (Khoshaba, 2012)

Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our shortcomings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life resolves and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts. (Khoshaba, 2012)

Here is a Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love:

  1. Become mindful- People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel and want. They are mindful of who they are and act on this knowledge, rather than on what others want for them.
  2. Act on what you need rather than what you want- By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past and lessen self-love.
  3. Practice good self-care- When you take care of your basic needs you tend to love yourself more. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities like sound nutrition, exercise, power sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
  4. Set boundaries- When you set limits or say no to work, love or activities that deplete you physically, emotionally and spiritually or express poorly who you are.
  5. Protect yourself- Get rid of people who hold you back and take pleasure in your pain rather than in your happiness and success. Do not waste time on people who halt you from loving yourself.
  6. Forgive yourself- We can sometimes be hard on After taking responsibility for our actions we may punish ourselves for the mistakes we have made on the road to learning and growing. You have to realize that we are after all human and that making mistakes is fine as long as we don’t overdo it. Once is a mistake twice is a choice.
  7. Live intentionally- When you live with a purpose and design you will accept and love yourself more. Your purpose doesn’t have to be crystal clear to you as long as your intentions are to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support these intentions and make you feel better about yourself if you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do. (Khoshaba, 2012)

It’s time to turn our frowns upside down.


Khoshaba, D. (2012, March nd). PsychologyToday. Retrieved December 27, 2016, from www.psychologytoday.com: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/seven-step-prescription-self-love